26 Jul 5 Reasons We Overshare
Here are the five biggest reasons we talk and overshare:
1. A False Sense of Intimacy
First of all, there’s a reason hairdressers hear intimate details of their clients’ lives. Perhaps when someone is touching you—cutting your hair or painting your toenails—it creates a false sense of intimacy.
Maybe you might not even know the person’s name. But that person is probably in your personal space and touching you. Therefore, for many, that physical touch gives them “permission” to start talking. Perhaps it’s due to them thinking they were communicating with a close friend or partner.
2. Solace in a Stranger
In addition, have you ever sat in a waiting room or on an airplane next to a stranger? You don’t know them, yet they gave you too many details about their personal life. Seems like people quite often tell complete strangers their deepest and darkest secrets.
Probably a stranger won’t judge you. And does it matter if she or he does? You probably won’t see that person again. Maybe for some individuals, telling embarrassing secrets and painful memories to a stranger is a less expensive and easier alternative to therapy.
3. A Misguided Attempt to Fast-Track the Relationship
Perhaps you meet someone knew—perhaps your new office assistant or a blind date. Maybe there’s a little tension as you talk and negotiate the relationship. Hence, you must look for clues to decipher. Maybe you need to decide whether the person likes you rather than is interested in getting to know you better.
Many people find that this initial phase provokes anxiety. Therefore, in an effort to skip over the “let’s get to know each other” period, they reveal problems. So they might share about bodily functions or strange phobias. Probably they hope that sharing private details will quickly take the relationship to the next level.
4. Poor Boundaries
In addition, oversharers sometimes just lack personal boundaries. Maybe they have no idea that it’s not appropriate to tell co-workers about relationship issues. Maybe they don’t understand why not to reveal their financial problems to total strangers.
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